Senior class comes together in a heartwarming union to lift all illegally-parked junior cars out of senior lots
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“It was time to take decisive action” George Sarbinowski comments on the horrendous infringement on senior rights. Unnamed juniors with multiple offenses on their record continue to park in exclusively senior parking lots.
At exactly 12:00 last Wednesday, the entirety of the senior class walked out of school to demonstrate their acute frustration with the administration’s failure to discipline the junior class. The school watched in awe as 73 revolutionaries marched to the squash court parking lot and promptly lifted Isaac Moskowitz’s automobile over their heads with shocking strength and moved it to the back of the J-Lo.
Seniors say that they feel liberated, and that they have stood up for what really matters. Juniors, now terrified of crossing the border between junior lot and senior sovereignty, promise to refrain from committing such egregious acts of insubordination.
Of course, there is discourse over whether or not the senior grade-wide suspension on account of property violation was worth the strong message that was sent, but students agree that they have aided a cause larger than themselves. Mr. Abel makes a nuanced parallel between the actions of the senior class and the debates over Brexit, saying that seniors have demonstrated how to avoid gridlock and purposefully leave a union for the betterment of a governed body. Indeed, the seniors have shown how revolution can exceed its scale and serve as a global reference.
Days later, seniors watch proudly as junior class trudges the fateful 0.1 mile to their rightful parking lot. “It feels good.” Sarbinowski adds. “I’ve never felt like such an interconnected grade, and now I am also fairly confident in our collective physical strength. Long live senior superiority.”
