Bob Whelan wonders what it would feel like to make a mistake
Bob Whelan, recently appointed headmaster of GFA, has been known to be quite the perfect figure in the GFA community. Showing up to school in constantly impeccable clothing, always saying the right thing at the right time, and always doing the right thing comes easy to him. Too easily, some may say.
The Thumb implanted a bug in Mr. Whelan’s office, earlier this year, and has recorded several of Mr. Whelan’s frustrated episodes where he desperately questions why he has been given this role. “Why can’t I be like the rest of them?” He’s been heard to ask himself, “I just want to fail, once.” Mr. Whelan reportedly thinks failing would be a learning experience, and that it would help him relate to the student body in a more personal way.
He feels terribly hypocritical telling students to embrace failure as a learning opportunity, while he himself has never been able to experience the feeling of doing something wrong. Now obsessed with the idea of failing, Mr. Whelan desperately pursues failure every day, going out of his way to make a mistake, but unfortunately has not yet succeeded. He just cannot fail.
In his pursuit of failure, Mr. Whelan’s been recorded chanting “I think I can’t I think I can’t” quietly to himself while contemplating monumental decisions he will need to make, such as who he will smile at in the hallways first.
Yes, Mr. Whelan is the embodiment of the perfect human. Will Mr. Whelan be able to fail? Does he need our help? Follow his tragic story with us.
